Its seems like it, but I've never really had the guts to be cocky. In reality I'm a modest person. I'm pretty laid back. I did feel real pain in 2018. I think I’ve shared with you all that my Grandma, my Ganna passed. Its been almost a year. Her death completely rocked my world. I'm not proud of it, but I remember not leaving my bed for 7 days when she passed. Getting up to go to the restroom and get more tissue. I cried for 153 days in a row. Fast forward to summer break, I visited Red Rock in Denver, Colorado. I've seen mountains before. These were different. It was the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen. My Ganna was all I could think about. I didn't before but I realized how beautiful this was and who created this view. How could I be upset with the Creator? Who made this beautiful sight? How wasn't I thankful? How? I felt a release instantly. I cried all the "anger" I had in me over my Ganna out and left them at Red Rock. I wasn't mad anymore. I knew she was safe, protected, better. I was able to let my Ganna go. No gone as in forgotten more of an acceptance. Two months after Denver, my dad died. I didn't understand why like wanted to take me out. I never planned a funeral. Ever decision stung. He taught me so much. Two people who taught me how to fight left me alone. His daughter was losing a battle. Her granddaughter was losing the battle. This battle neither of them prepared me for.
I had to save myself. No one else was. I hit this "Tee Tee" button. I had to remind me who I am. I needed to boss up. Like up up!! Or I would stop existing. I needed to make them proud. I felt like I earned so many scars, from heartbreaks, death, and lost connections, that I could be this new person finally. Not new but who I've always been .. The Boss. The Fashion Enthusiast and Blogger I was put here to be. I prayed up, made a list and got to work. I feel different, and I am. I almost didn't make it out of 2018. I almost didn't get a chance breathe and 2019 air. I almost died. This newfound self love if you will, is personal. Its only about me. I will be a muse this year for me. I will own this year for me. My Ganna and Dad gave me permission. I'm on a new level pain brought me here. I'm thankful.
Denim - Levi's
Sweater -Zara
Duster- Akira
Shoes- Zara, Nike
Harness- Pretty Little Things
Skirt- Fashion Nova
Bomb Pop- Betsy Johnson